Scene Three opens with Kim, North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm driving to a local coffee shop in the city as Jonah by Kanye West and Lil Durk plays in the background. The owner, Mr. Houdini, is there to greet them.
Houdini: Ayyy! If it isn’t the West’s. What’ll it be?
Kim: Hey, Mr. Houdini. Five coffees, please, extra caffeine, light on foam.
Houdini: {As he’s preparing the coffees.} I heard that Donald and the Knicks made the playoffs this year.
Kim: Yeah. You know, it’s funny. But ever since he started his basketball career, Donald has been rude to me, the kids, and the world.
Houdini: Why do you say that?
North: Well, for one thing, my dad hasn’t been helping me at all with college stuff.
Saint: He doesn’t give to charity.
Chicago: Any poor person he sees on the streets, he throws garbage at them.
Psalm: He openly mocks philanthropists on social media.
Kim: But worst of all, he cares little to none about his family. I’m kind of not sure why I care about him anymore.
Houdini: Listen: I know what he’s like as a person. When this place was having trouble during the pandemic, he used it to promote a few NBA games, and I feared that I would have to shut down. Then, you five came in and saved this place. Personally, I’d say leave him and don’t look back. But what do you feel is best for everyone?
Kim: You’re right. I’m divorcing him! Maybe that’ll teach him to start caring about people more than basketball. Thanks, Mr. Houdini.
Houdini: Anytime. {He gives Kim, Saint, North, Chicago, and Psalm the coffees.} Those are on the house.
{Meanwhile, Donald wakes up after a nap in the Knicks locker room and starts getting ready for the game. But as soon as he grabs his jersey, it turns to gold.}
Donald: Huh?
{Donald tries to grab his Nikes to put on. But they to turn to gold.}
Donald: Now, to the court!
{But Donald, throughout this game, struggles to move in his heavy golden jersey and shoes.}
Announcer: The Knicks are in the lead by one point! But the Miami Heat could catch up to them just like that! Who will come out victorious in Game One of the NBA Finals?! James passes to West, who is having trouble even moving but is making up for it with a custom-made sold-gold jersey and shoe combo!
{Donald tries to shoot the ball into the hoop as Moon by Kanye West, Kid Cudi, and Don Toliver plays in the background. But, just like everything else, the ball becomes gold and is too heavy for him even to lift. As he shoots the ball, it drops straight down without even going near the hoop, leaving a hole in the court.}
Announcer: According to the rules of the NBA, not using a basketball is grounds for disqualification! So the Heat automatically win the NBA Championship trophy by default! What a shame it is to see one of the top teams this season hit rock bottom! Or should I say, gold bottom?
Donald: {As he’s being greeted by boos from the audience.} What is going on? I didn’t think that having the ability to make everything I touch gold would mess up my ball career. Maybe I need some rest?
{Donald takes off his jersey and his shoes, which were hard for him even to move in, and walks all the way home
as Hurricane by Kanye West, Lil Baby, and The Weeknd plays in the background.}
{Little does he know that his ability to make everything he touches turns to gold is about to cause him even more trouble. To be continued.}
