Scene Four opens with Jarad, Jason Firestone, and Dark Wrld locked in jail cells in the sports equipment building at Nostradamus University. Wasted by Juice Wrld and Lil Uzi Vert play in the background as Patrick walks up to the cells.
Jarad: {Happy to see Patrick.} Patrick! Thank goodness you’re OK!
Patrick: {Who had the A.I. chip inserted in him in the previous scene.} Silence, prisoner!
Jason: Jarad, I know Patrick well, and I don’t think he’s into law enforcement.
{At that moment, Kronos, Nostradamus, Cesar, and Charles walk up to the cells with Starfire and throw her in Jarad’s cell.}
Starfire: Dad! What’s going on?
Jarad: {Noticing Kronos.} You!!! What did you do to my brother?!
Kronos: I’ll tell you. But first, let’s have Football Boy here explain living arrangements.
Patrick: Prisoners sleep in their cells! Any prisoner caught outside the cell gets whipped! Roll call is at dusk and dawn! Any prisoner who misses roll call gets whipped! Prisoners don’t speak unless spoken to! Any prisoner who talks back gets…
Jason: {Interrupting.} Whipped! Point made!
{Patrick walks up to give Jason a whipping. But Nostradamus stops him.}
Nostradamus: At ease, soldier. Don’t let them get to you. They’ll say anything to make you doubt yourself.
Kronos: 18 whole years, I’ve been waiting for this moment.
Nostradamus: Kronos, I’ll do the monologue. {To Cesar.} Cesar, a little suspenseful piano, please. {Cesar starts playing the piano as the monologue begins.} Back in the early days of existence, I was the go-to for predicting the future. I’ve predicted every single major event in history so far. Among those things that I’ve predicted include the New York Knicks losing streak, but that’s for a whole other reason. Soon after I got successful in the prediction game, I had three kids: Cesar, Andre, and Charles. Then, I discovered Kronos, who was fired from his job at a diner, which he was forced to get because of you. So I figured that I wanted to make another prediction of mine come true, and Kronos wanted revenge. So we teamed up, made this university, and captured your brother to make the general of the AI army. You guys will get AI chips inserted into you soon. Then, I’ll use this army to rule the world!!!
Andre: Starfire!!!!
{Andre rushes over to Starfire as Armed and Dangerous by Juice Wrld starts playing in the background.}
Andre: Let her go, Dad!
Nostradamus: She’s just a girl, Andre. There are five billion people in the world just like her.
Andre: Not to me, there isn’t.
Nostradamus: Oh! Ok. So because of one girl, you want to stand up for these people? Was that monologue a lot to take in through that CTE mind of yours? Did your brother’s piano playing make you feel empathy for these peasants? Well fine! If you love them so much, why don’t you join them in their demise?!
{Nostradamus throws Andre into the jail cell with Jason and locks the door.}
Kronos: Patrick, make sure these guys don’t escape. I really need my revenge.
Patrick: Yes, sir, my good man!
{Nostradamus, Charles, Cesar, and Kronos leave as Lucid Dreams by Juice Wrld plays in the background.}
Jarad: See where you got us, Starfire?! Over a baseball scholarship?!
Starfire: Oh please! I didn’t even know that the owners…
Jarad: {Interrupting} No! No! No! Time out! If you have just agreed to online school, we wouldn’t be in this mess!
Starfire: {Angry.} You know! This is a really nice way to treat your daughter before she goes to college! If you think I want to do another year at an online school home with a dude like you now, you are SADLY mistaken!!
Jason: {Trying to keep the peace.} Stop! Just stop it, you two! You’re both acting like little children! Not only that, Jarad, you’re rude to Star right now. As her father, you should be supporting her for whatever she wants to do.
Jarad: {Crying.} You’re right, Jason. I’m just getting Empty Nest Syndrome, that’s all.
Jason: We need to make a plan to get Patrick back to normal and defeat Nostradamus and Kronos.
Dark Wrld: What’s empty nest syndrome?
Jason: I took philosophy class my senior year of high school and learned that Nostradamus’ weakness is boiling water. You dowse him in that. You defeat him. Also, to answer your question, Dark Wrld means that the parent is depressed that the kid is leaving their house.
Dark Wrld: But how do we get Patrick back to normal?
{Armed and Dangerous by Juice Wrld starts playing as Jason and Andre start carrying out their escape plan.}
Jason: Hey! Philosophy footballer! Keep your paws off of my stuff!
Andre: Bring it on, Podcast Boy!
{Jason and Andre start play-slapping each other as Patrick rushes to break them up.}
Patrick: Hey! No fighting! That’s my job! {He notices Starfire, but by then, it’s too late. Starfire had already pinned him down.} Prison riot! They’re asserting their dominance over me!
Starfire: Now, Dad! Get the chip out!
Patrick: Unhand… {Jarad gets the AI chip out of Patrick’s head, getting him back to normal.} Hey, Jarad. What just happened?
Jarad: {Giving Patrick a bear hug.} What matters is you are back, bro. Now let’s get those criminals.
{Will our heroes be able to defeat Nostradamus and Kronos before the world becomes AI? Will Starfire get into a good school?
Stay tuned for the epic conclusion of Goodbye and Good Riddance. To be continued.}
