When crepe myrtles bloom and fall sports begin, I sometimes think about Sandusky, Nassar, and the abusing wrestling coach I knew years ago.
The photo I saw showed two Florida high school wrestlers on either side of a man whom I had known in the 1970s when he taught high school math and coached wrestling. Although he was a good wrestling coach, especially concerning leg technique, he had a “dirty side.”
Courtesy: Seattle Times
A resident of the D.C. area, he had worked at three area independent schools but, now in Florida, none of his past had surfaced in the Sunshine State. I quickly called the father of the two boys and told him about the man’s history. The father, who had wrestled for me at a D.C. independent school, said to me that the man was at a local tournament and that he was also a volunteer coach at a local school.
When the school’s coach asked the man for a background check, he disappeared.
The wrestlers in the photo are now college seniors–good wrestlers–and none worse from that encounter. But it was one more lesson, among many, learned about pedophiles.
This past July, Martha and her twin girls came for their annual visit with my wife and me. Martha was a student of mine while in high school, and she has stayed in touch over the years. So has Sydney, Mark, Tim, and many others. One of my most enjoyable moments is sharing the adult lives of my past students and athletes.
Martha and her twin girls enjoy the lake, work in the woodshop, and listen to their mother and me discuss good books. Sydney and her husband Mark are great about sending news and photos of their first child, a boy. Mark and Tim, both wrestling coaches now, call me about coaching issues and to catch me up on their children.
Trust is fragile. If a teacher/coach fractures the bond of trust with one of her or his charges, the rift will seldom be repaired.
My point is that the connection we have with our young but forming charges is as fragile as the finest thread.
When crepe myrtles bloom and fall sports begin, I sometimes think about Sandusky, Nassar, and that wrestling coach I knew years ago. Two are in prison, and the other may be. If that third man is free, then he will hide his past. I have no experience in wearing an orange jumpsuit or needing to conceal my past acts, but I cringe when I think of what a life like his may be like.
All of these perpetrators were successful and talented, but they all abused the trust given to them by vulnerable young people. Wolves in sheep clothing, they are now rightfully isolated from people, most notably the trusting young.
But it did not have to be as it was. I know a math teacher/wrestling coach was known to be “odd,” who acted in ways that were way past inappropriate. He taught at three independent schools, returning to one school after being “let go” by another, hired by friends. In today’s news, I read that he’s on trial for abuse.
It seems to be never-ending.
Institutions and fellow coaches must do better protecting our charges. When we do, we mold a bond that cannot be broken, may last a lifetime, and will continue benefitting a teacher/coach and the children (now adults) who were in their charge.
It is a fine feeling to follow the careers and lives of young men and women whom we’ve taught or coached–just as these two did over the decades.
Karem Abdul Jabbar (nee Lou Alcindor) with UCLA coach, John Wooden (photo, Twitter)
