Storyline: Even if I turn out not to be a wonder drug for the brain, if I still ease pain, then what’s the harm? It’s time for the NFL to join the marijuana revolution and to stop bogarting that joint.
Hello sports fans, my official name is Cannabis Sativa. But you may know me better by my many slang names: Reefer, Bud, Ganja, Sticky-icky, Chronic, Marijuana or Simply Weed. I’ve gotten a bad rap over the years, but things are looking up. It’s like the whole world is turning over a new leaf … and smoking it right-the-hell up!
Courtesy: YouTube
Things are changing fast and for the better, I’d say. Many factions of society finally understand that I’m pretty damn harmless and, actually, have some helpful medicinal properties. All the rumors about me are being challenged and debunked by … (GASP!) … science.
I don’t kill brain cells (ignore that frying egg commercial!). I’m not a gateway drug. I’m not super addictive. And I sure ain’t gonna cause you to rape and murder anyone. So go ahead and burn that bullshit 1936 movie, Reefer Madness. If the U.S. government would just take my ass off The Schedule I Drug List, then researchers could see what I can really do for the human body.
Not only is the U.S. government falling behind the marijuana express, so is the NFL. The league still has a pretty staunch policy prohibiting marijuana use, while totally relying on very addictive opioids and powerful anti-inflammatory drugs.
Here are NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s most recent thoughts about me:
Courtesy: www.sickchirpse.com
“It’s an NFL policy and we believe it’s the correct policy, for now, in the best interest of the long-term health of our players. I agree there have been changes, but not significant enough changes that our medical personnel have changed their view. Until they do, then I don’t expect that we will change our view.”
Remember, this is the same guy whose league tried to bully the United States Congress and influence a study regarding football’s effects on brain disease. He didn’t do it to protect the players. He did it to cover his own ass and the owners. When Goodell mentions anything being in the best interest of players, I laugh like I just smoked myself.
I’m a huge football fan and there’s nothing better than chilling out on a fall Sunday and enjoying a day of NFL competition on the gridiron.
Courtesy: drugpolicy.org
I love the massive collisions in the trenches as the offensive and defensive lines smash into each other, play after play in a constant battle over territory.
I love watching linebackers deliver punishment as they seek out oncoming ball carriers and drive them down into the turf.
I cheer when a safety times is able to time his hit ‘just right.’ His shoulder slams into an opposing receiver’s chest, dislodging the ball.
Oh, yes, the violence in football is very much in every play. No matter how much the league officials try to make it safer, players are hurt during their careers and suffer lifelong pain after their playing days are over.
But, you know, I can help them without all the harmful side effects of opioids. I can be in the best interest of the NFL players if your backwards league would just let me.
It really burns me up (don’t worry I have plenty of more of those puns) just thinking about the issue. The NFL hypocrisy never ceases to amaze me. The league makes millions of dollars in advertising revenue from Miller and Budweiser, yet players are suspended when a little of my THC shows up in their urine. Players get chastised for smoking a joint while thousands cheer every Sunday as they plough through their alcohol.
Courtesy: lowbrowsports.com
I shouldn’t even blame the NFL. The league is just a microcosm of American society. If you have any type of physical malady, just let ‘these little pills’ work wonders. Feeling depressed? Have some Paxil … or maybe Prozac is more your thing. Feeling a tad anxious? Valium or Xanax can calm you down. They even have pills ‘to help get your football into the end zone’ … if you know what I mean. Drugs are a major part of our society.
Yet I’m shunned.
Times are changing, though, just like I said. But I wish the NFL would be leading the change instead of waiting to fall in line. The biggest issue the NFL is dealing with right now is degenerative brain disease as a result of concussions. The most exciting discoveries about my ‘green goodness’ are definitely brain-related. Why is the NFL avoiding this issue?
Early research shows the cannabinoids in THC may cause new brain cells to grow. It’s process known as neurogenesis. There’s also some proof that cannabis protects the brain against damage from trauma. Laboratory studies have shown that cannabinoids may protect cognitive function and vital processes against brain injury. Research also suggests that it could not only help players recover from these incidents, but it could be a preventative, too. The U.S. Government already has a patent on cannabinoids as neuro-protectants. So, yes, they know something.
Courtesy: stopcte.org
All I can say to Mr. Goodell is this: Why don’t you stuff that in your pipe and smoke it?!
The attitudes in the league have to change. Anything and everything should be considered to try and help current and former players combat CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy). It’s extremely hard for current players to fight the battle because they’ll be automatically labeled ‘potheads’ and could be blackballed from the league.
But it’s great that recently retired players have become advocates for my use. Eugene Monroe, Jake Plummer, Nate Jackson, Kyle Turley, Leonard Marshall, Derrick Morgan, and Jim McMahon have all advocated for letting players get a taste of the chronic. They understand pain and know what’s good for their bodies.
Even if I turn out not to be a wonder drug for the brain, if I still ease pain, then what’s the harm?
The NFL may have always viewed me as a nemesis, but all I want to do is help. My advanced, scientific mind leads me to believe something quite profound: playing football hurts a whole hell-of-a-lot and it isn’t good for the human body.
Yet, somehow, people think a plant, like me, is more dangerous.
It’s time to pull your league out of Richard Nixon’s paranoia and the “Just Say No” era of Nancy Reagan. It’s time for the NFL to join the marijuana revolution and stop bogarting that joint.
