Here’s the problem and what we can do to address it.
Imagine this scenario: You’re the mother or father of a 16-year-old son, a teenager navigating the complexities of life. Challenges have already shaped his journey, and now, you face a critical decision at a pivotal crossroads. Should you invest in elite coaching, world-class facilities, and competition, or should you let him forge his own path? Most people reading this will likely go all in: hire a coach and get to work.
The idea of practice as a magic receipt for success was popularized by Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, based on the research of the late Anders Ericsson. This work became the rallying cry of almost two generations of coaches who, together with parents, believe that practice under expert supervision holds the keys to unlocking their children’s destinies.
Unfortunately, the only thing for certain about Gladwell’s book is that it created a market of overeager parents willing to exert any resources necessary to access the transformative powers of practice to create champions. The market swelled.
Armed with opportunity, charlatans created a whole new world of practice and structure for kids to accommodate parents. Soon, kids not only needed sports practice but academic practice. Then, they standardized test practice and strength practice. Soon, the coaches told parents their children would be Greek gods overseeing the sirens of coaches and sports agents beckoning them with the sweet sounds of scholarships, riches, and fame.
With the system in place and printing money and parents overjoyed to fund the experiment for the promises of an elite college, what could go wrong?
The fact is that practice has become a form of control used by both coaches and parents. Time alone yields nothing. To become elite, kids must understand and then carefully develop the required skills of their sport. A coach’s role is to ensure athletes understand these skills and their fundamentals—nothing more, nothing less.
The problem is that many coaches don’t build skills. They become gurus for the kids, controlling their lives with voodoo science and the latest fades. They push kids until many never want to play again.
In a recent study I co-authored, we found that students with negative sports experiences during adolescence suffered more long-term adverse effects than those who did not engage in sports. The fact is that, in many cases, sports do not teach life lessons. Instead, kids are being given some combination of a lack of appropriate feedback and boundaries, over-encouragement of aggression, and an inflated sense of control. Add in an adolescent’s natural inclination towards risky behavior, and what do you get? Well, I am not sure yet, but I know it isn’t good.
As you might expect, Gladwell had another narrative option that might have resonated even more powerfully – the Somerville Youth Study. Initiated in 1936, it sought to answer a fundamental question: Does mentorship genuinely benefit children? The study divided children into two groups, one navigating life independently and the other receiving support from organizations like the Boy Scouts. Surprisingly, those without external support thrived, challenging the belief in the transformative power of mentorship advocated by the charlatans of youth sport.
Of course, the problem is that the Somerville Youth Study is not good for book sales. Conversely, peddling the magic formula of relentless practice remains enticing, even when the evidence points elsewhere. That’s because our focus is no longer on kids but on scholarships, pro sports, and a return on our investment in practice.
So what’s a parent to do? Since we both know that you’re not just gonna stay out of it, there are some things you can do. Make sport about skill development. Each week, challenge your child to get better at something specifically. Their improvement is likely more related to their interest than their ability. When interest wains, give your kids time and space, not the prescription of practice or a coach’s lecture. Likewise, ensure they have kids of similar age and skill to play with. Finally, let them dip their toes in different activities and sports. Testing the waters, as well as having multiple interests, is very healthy.
This all comes down to what you want for your child. Sports can have a fantastic impact on people’s lives. However, the power of sports can instantly be erased by the culture of practice, control, and greed, by parents who explicitly seek scholarship dollars or fame, or by coaches and sports organizations who use kids to fuel their own careers or wallets. When sports is starting to become about these things, remember the Summerville Youth Study. Choose to give kids time and space away from practice and the charlatans of youth sports. You won’t regret it, and they will be better off for it.
