I get the concern about mascots and team names that disparage others, and there are plenty of articles written and things said about those programs. But what about those that are just plain ridiculous? Here are my picks.
I understand the objections of Native Americans to specific team names. Dan Snyder, the owner of the Washington Football Team, tried to defend the former Redskin name as denoting “honor, respect and pride.” On the other hand, Adrienne Keene, a citizen of the Cherokee Nation and faculty member at Brown University’s American Studies and Ethnic Studies department, has this to say, “I would be honored and respected as a Native person if our treaties were honored if our sovereignty was recognized if our lands were taken back into Indigenous hands. Those are the type of things that honor me as a Native person, not a stereotypical image combined with a racial slur.”
Any group of people can define what is disparaging to them, and we need to respect that. So, I get it. But some team names out there need to go, not because they necessarily disparage a particular group of people but because they are ridiculous. Here are ten.
The Jordan (Utah) High School Beetdiggers. The name was chosen due to the large areas surrounding the schools: sugar beet fields. Up until about 1950, at harvest time, classes were canceled during vacations of a week or two in October, which allowed students to assist with the harvest. That’s a great explanation, but as an Athlon Sports blogger noted, “The nickname inspires fear. If you’re a beet.”
The Kimberly (Wis.) High School Papermakers. They play in Papermaker Stadium. Kimberly and the surrounding area are home to many paper mills, including Kimberly Clark. “With paper being such a large part of Wisconsin’s history,” wrote Steven Okonek for On Focus, “it is surprising that more schools do not take the Papermaker mascot.” Not so surprising to me. Is that a name you want on your jersey when you go to battle in the football trenches?
Grafton/St. Thomas (ND) High School Spoilers. As that Athlon Sports blogger put it, “Isn’t the nickname ‘Spoilers’ a concession that you suck and can only hope to spoil a good team’s season?”
Cairo (Ga.) High School Syrupmakers. In 1986, ESPN named “Syrupmaker” the number one high school sports team nickname. I’m not sure if that selection was number one for weirdness or if ESPN was serious. During a driving rainstorm in the middle of a football game many years ago, workers at the local syrup plant brought over their raincoats labeled “Roddenbery’s Syrup” to keep the players dry. Reflecting this heritage, the football team was named the Syrupmakers. The school mascot is a syrup pitcher.
Mount Clemons (Mich.) High School Battling Bathers. Named after the mineral baths that used to be in the area. Former NFL defensive lineman Wally Chambers is an alumnus. I wonder how much teasing he received from his Chicago Bears teammates when they learned his high school’s nickname. Also, what is their mascot? A guy or girl in a bathing suit?
Watersmeet (Mich.) Nimrods. As Athlon Sports pointed out, “In the Bible, Nimrod was a mighty hunter. Nobody knows their Bible anymore. Today, a nimrod is merely a moron.”
Orofino (Idaho) High School Maniacs. Orofino is the home of a mental hospital, State Hospital North. In 1993, the Idaho Alliance for the Mentally Ill wrote a letter to the school board requesting the mascot be abandoned because it stigmatizes and ”perpetuates the old stereotype attached to the mentally ill.” As it turns out, the name “maniacs” was first coined in 1927 after a feverish basketball game with neighboring Kamiah and had nothing to do with the hospital. The mascot logo depicts a yelling, jumping man with bushy black hair. The school board stated that the mascot “is not intended to depict a hospital patient enduring shock treatment as the alliance described.” The board decided to keep the moniker.
Teutopolis (Ill.) Wooden Shoes. The wooden shoe has been around in this small town southeast of Chicago for over 150 years. Around 1860, George Dymann, an immigrant from Germany, came to the town and started making shoes out of wood. As Athlon Sports said of the team, “They’re particularly loud on the basketball court. But slow.”
Freeburg (Ill.) High School Midgets. This name was also contested, with the Little People of America urging the school district to change the nickname. The high school chose the mascot decades ago after a David-and-Goliath basketball game where Freeburg came out on top. The district elected to keep the name. “Once a Midget, always a Midget,” Board Secretary Kim Towers said. “Our community is happy to be Midgets, and that’s where it’s at.” In 2013, the Huffington Post labeled the Midget name as among the “most tasteless” in the nation.
Scottsdale (Ariz.) Community College Fighting Artichokes. Born during student unrest in the early 1970s, Artie the Artichoke was adopted as the school’s mascot to express a difference of opinion concerning budget priorities. Originally intended to be a source of embarrassment, Artie has been embraced by students, athletes, staff, and the community as a beloved character. I would like to see them play the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs.
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Matt Sieger, now retired sports reporter/columnist who worked for New York State and California newspapers, did his undergraduate work at Cornell University and received a master’s in journalism from Syracuse University. He is the author of The God Squad: The Born-Again San Francisco Giants of 1978. This article first appeared in The Vacaville Reporter on June 12, 2021.
