Acting ‘poorly’ has become the norm. Respectfulness is in short supply. We can, should, and must do better.
John Wall Tournament in Raleigh, NC (photo courtesy Charlotte Observer)
In one of the many videos of a fan fight that erupted during the John Wall Invitational this week, a voice can be heard saying over and over as the melee is being filmed, “They gonna’ start shootin’.” Fortunately, that did not happen. But it did the very next day at a basketball tournament in Salisbury, NC. (see cover photo). At least one shot was fired in a gym lobby and two youngsters were wounded.
What causes such behavior? Is it poor sportsmanship? Poor coaching? Poor officiating? Poor policing? Poor parenting? Poor economics? Poor education? Or could it be that we are just poor?
The word poor is usually used in relation to money and wealth, as in, “We were poor growing up” or used as an adjective or adverb, as in, “That was a poor performance.” However used, it means without or lacking, and it is often used as a reason for such behaviors that we saw at those two high school athletic events.
I offer that we as a culture are ‘poor’ in several areas, but mainly in respect.
For instance, too many of us think little of chanting offensive words at a speaker or official during a game. Adults set the tone for such behavior, which means they are not acting as a role model for children and youth by modeling respect (as they should) for ‘the striped shirts.” public office holders, coaches, and others. It seems that too many parents today eagerly share with children their negative opinions of coaches, teachers, and other authority figures. Too many coaches berate officials and whine to players concerning how a game was officiated.
The alternative? In every classroom and practice room, mutual respect will improve everyone’s outlook.
Respect, like so many values, begins with each person. But it is not a natural value. A child must be taught respect by being respected and treasured. Respect is also another word for obedience. If I respect, then I obey. I obey because I respect—the rules, other persons, my culture, and myself. It involves the acceptance of personal responsibility.
However, in today’s America, too little respect is on display. We have elected leaders who do not model respect, openly flout laws and norms, take little or no responsibility, and do not engage in civil discourse. I believe that all of that ‘poorness’ seeps down.
Culturally it is accepted behavior to jeer ugly chants to a person I object to or to physically attack someone with whom I disagree. The seepage trickles down into the world of young adults and children.
Perhaps it is too late for our culture to right itself. Perhaps the fights at the Wall tournament and the gunshots in Salisbury are our new normal. Perhaps.
But I know that we can, should, and must do better. Let us begin by being polite and showing respect to one another, and–if we do–then we can watch the richness flow.
