The second scene opens in Central Park. In a rage, grumpy Ebenezer Scrooge stomps home.
Ebenezer: {Angry.} Who do those guys think they are?! I’m an NBA player! Christmas isn’t important! Playing basketball is important!
Santa: {Ringing the Salvation Army bell.} Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Ebenezer! Do you want to donate to the Salvation Army?
Ebenezer: {Mad.} Do you think I have time to donate to a stupid man ringing a bell?! No! I have a basketball game tomorrow and I need to train. Humbug!
{Ebenezer takes Santa’s bell and throws it into the lake. Jacob Marley, number 45, notices and walks up to Ebenezer.}
Jacob: What did you do that for, Ebenezer?!
Ebenezer: {Shocked.} Jacob! What are you doing here?
Jacob: I was going to the court to practice for tomorrow’s game. But, then, I noticed that you don’t have the Christmas spirit. Why?
Ebenezer: I just don’t care for it. Basketball is more important.
Jacob: NO! The Christmas spirit is more important. Last Christmas, I almost died of an overdose of ketamine. I was a scumbag to everyone, and that taught me how important it is to have the Christmas spirit. I don’t want you to go through what I went through.
Ebenezer: What are you gonna do?
Jacob: Well this year, I got into Scientology. I’ll use Scientology powers to summon three spirits–Past, Present, and Future. It helps teach the true meaning of Christmas. Expect the first one to come to you. It will happen at Times Square.
{Jacob leaves. Ebenezer continues his long stomp home. But his Past will soon catch up with him.
End of scene. To be continued.}
