We open on the football field, where we meet the Rapville High football team.
Our cast of quirky rappers-turned-football-players is waiting for the coach, who is late.
Just then, Coach Fredrick comes rushing onto the field.
Fredrick: {Nervous.} Oh, man! I’m late for practice! {Calms down.} Oh, wait! I’m the coach. I can show up any day I want.
{He goes over to mid-field, ready to do attendance.}
Fredrick: OK, team. Not gonna waste any time. Let’s do the attendance.
{He starts taking attendance. Roddy Ricch?}
Roddy: Ehh-err!
Fredrick: Lil Pump?
Pump: Esskeetit!
Fredrick: DaBaby?
DaBaby: Yeah yeah.
Fredrick: 6ix9ine?
6ix9ine: Treyway!
Fredrick: Wait? Aren’t you the guy that told on everyone? Whatever.
{Goes back to the attendance.}
Fredrick: Tay-K?
Tay: I’m Lil Tay-K. I don’t think you want no action.
Fredrick: You’re right. I don’t want any action. I want an amazing football team and a state championship trophy.
Tay: Well, let’s get to subtracting.
Fredrick: We will be subtracting: Subtracting the other team’s points.
{Goes to the last name on attendance.}
Fredrick: Kodak Black? Kodak Black?
{Kodak hasn’t come to practice.}
Fredrick: Has anyone seen Kodak?
Roddy: Yeah. He’s in jail. He got arrested.
Fredrick: {Surprised.} What?! Again?! He can’t stay out of jail.
{Ends attendance.}
Fredrick: Let me introduce myself: My name is Coach Fredrick von Count. I’ve been coaching football here since 1995. Not once during my career have I won a state championship. So you guys are my last hope before I stop coaching football! So we need to win!
Pump: Esskeetit!
DaBaby: Yeah yeah.
Roddy: Ehh-err!
Fredrick: Alright. Let’s do the first exercise: Tackling. Pair up with someone to tackle. Oh yeah.
{Pulls out jerseys and helmets.}
Fredrick: Here are your football jerseys and helmets.
{Everyone puts on their football gear and they are liking it.}
Roddy: {Impressed.} High fashion.
Pump: Esskeetit!
DaBaby: Yeah yeah.
6ix9ine: Splish, splash, Apple bottoms make that butt fat.
Fredrick: {Annoyed with 6ix9ine.} Zip it, Snitch-9ine! {Gets ready to start the drills.} Start!
{Tay-K is paired with Roddy Ricch, DaBaby is paired with Lil Pump, and 6ix9ine is tackling with Coach Fredrick.
We see a montage of everyone practicing their tackling drills …
and winning games throughout the season until the state playoffs.}
Fredrick: OK, guys. So this is it: We made it to State. It was an honor to train with you guys. Go out there and win it!
Tay: Tay-K very hard!
Pump: Esskeetit!
DaBaby: Yeah yeah!
Roddy: Ehh-err!
6ix9ine: Trey Way!
{The opponent is The Rug-Rats.
On that team is Blueface, NLE Choppa, Lil Nas X, Trippie Redd, and XXXTENTACION.
The two teams make their way to the fields.}
Blueface: Blueface, baby.
Choppa: Yeah!
Nas X: Hey Panini!
Trippie: Yeaaaaaaaaaah!
X: Ayyyy!
Tay: I’m Lil Tay-K. I don’t think you want no action.
Pump: Esskeetit!
Roddy: Ehh-err!
6ix9ine: Scum Gang!
DaBaby: Boy, it’s DaBaby. What’s you heard about me?
{The game starts. The Rapville High Team takes the lead by scoring a touchdown. Then, the Rug-Rats score.
We see a montage of scoring and touchdowns until we get to the final quarter. The game is tied 24-24.
Tay-K has the ball. He then passes to DaBaby, who passes to 6ix9ine, who passes to Roddy Ricch, who passes to Lil Pump. Lil Pump scores the winning touchdown.
The team has finally won state!
Players hug Coach Fredrick and then go up on stage to accept the trophy.}
Pump: {Getting the trophy.} Esskeetit!
{XXXTENTACION goes up to the stage angry and slaps Tay-K in the face.}
X: F..ed up! F..ed up! F..ed up!
{Tay-K pulls out his gun.}
Tay: Shoot a f…boy in his mother-f…ing face!
{He shoots X, killing him.}
Fredrick: {Rushing over, shocked.} Tay-K! Are you insane?! Why would you do that?!
{Tay points the gun at him.}
Fredrick: Don’t shoot. I’ll do anything!
Tay: Dance Michael Jackson!
{Coach Fredrick dances Michael Jackson-style as papers take photos.}
Tay: Do the dash and I go out the way.
{Runs off the field.}
Pump: Esskeetit! {Leaves.}
Roddy: If we hop in the Benz, is that OK? {Leaves.}
6ix9ine: TreyWay! {Leaves.}
DaBaby: I’m going back to Cali. {Leaves.}
Fredrick: {Amazed, still dancing Michael Jackson-style.} Oh man. This is just the football team?! I wonder what the basketball team is like?
{To be continued)
Which rappers should be on the basketball team? Let me know in the comment section, and I’ll be sure to include them.
