There is another hard-working athlete out there with you. Respect his work as much as you do your own.
When I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, I was often told by a teacher or coach that it was important to be a “good loser.” I took those words to heart and always tried to be gracious when I was on the losing end of an athletic contest. But as I reflect on the just-completed collegiate national championships, too many winners didn’t exhibit good behavior in several areas of play.
Being a gracious winner is as important as being a good loser.
Here’s a story about how to be a gracious winner.
When I was coaching high school wrestling in the 1970s I persuaded a young fellow to try out for our team. He–let’s call him Lewis–was strong, but inexperienced. We had a scrimmage with a school that had great teams in those years, and one of its best wrestlers was a defending state champion at the weight Lewis wrestled.
Before the match, I told the other coach about Lewis and how inexperienced he was. I asked that his state champion understand the situation. He did just that and was still able to beat Lewis convincingly.
But as Lewis came off the mat–worn out by having wrestled this skillful athlete for six minutes–he grinned and said with pride, “He didn’t pin me!” That state champion was not just good. He was gracious. He didn’t have to beat up young Lewis to show how good he was. He went half-speed and still won easily. And Lewis came away with his ego intact.
That wrestler was good and gracious.
Courtesy The Gazette
There is a custom in high school wrestling that after a match a wrestler shakes hands with the opposing coach. This isn’t a rule, just a custom, begun in the late 1970s by Herb Soles. However, I’ve competed against teams that didn’t follow that custom. Their coaches explained to me that they didn’t see the ritual as necessary, and they had instructed their wrestlers not to follow it.
“Fine with me,” I responded. Every coach has to do what he or she sees best for their team. I never second-guessed that decision, but some fans and other coaches did.
In wrestling, we shake a lot of hands. The rules require that opponents shake hands before and after a match. Teams, after a dual meet, line up and shake hands. That, in my mind, is enough handshaking and required sportsmanship for any team.
What I want to see more of is graciousness. Win but be gracious in winning.
Every reader, I wager, knows what it is to be embarrassed. Public humiliation is about as bad an experience as any person can suffer–and it’s even worse for a young person. It can happen in any part of school life—classroom, hallway, field, court, stage, track, mat—anywhere people are watching.
But this past weekend in Pittsburgh, eighty dedicated young men won something that can’t be taken from them—each is an All-America, an honor resulting from years of practice, running, and more. None should be embarrassed, but all should be celebrated for their just reward.
I ask my wrestlers to go out, do their best, and be polite.
A few times, I’ve had to reprimand some of my athletes for expressing joy on the mat. Yes, I’m glad they won important matches, even a national championship, but I ask them to be a good winner.
After all, there is another hard-working athlete out there with them. Respect his work as much as you do your own.
