Hyper Bowl XV

Marcus from College Park with 106.7 the Fan’s Lavar and Dukes

*FAN SUBMISSION from our contributor Marcus from College Park. Follow him on Twitter @MarcusSports1.*

With the conclusion of the 2014 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins began beating the war drums signaling their defense and quest for a 15th straight “HYPER BOWL.” With the use of some heap big medicine, Marketingmeister and Owner, Chief “Speaking Bull” Snyder, Washington goes on the money making warpath to raid Hyper Bowl XV. The creation of which conveniently coincides with Snyder’s leveraged buyout of the team in 1999.

Chief Speaking Bull, who sits benevolently in the lotus position in the top teepee in Ashburn, has generously spread the prestigious Hyper Bowl Trophy honors to eight head coaches in only 15 years of ownership. Even Hall of Fame Coach Joe Gibbs drank the kool-aid from the Hyper Bowl Trophy four times during the tribe’s inspired “Return to Glory” campaign, which had the Coach quitting and skeedadlin’ off the reservation with a loser’s record of 31-36 and 28 million pieces of silver.

The Hyper Bowl MVP Totem Pole holds the likeness’ of some of the great free agent and trade busts in recent history, Deon Sanders, Bruce Smith, Jeff George, Adam Archuletta, Dana Stubblefield, Jeremiah Trotter, Donavon McNabb and Albert Haynesworth. Throw draft day flops like Jason Campbell, Patrick Ramsey, LaRon Landry and Devin Thomas into the Hype Mixer and you’ve got an unprecedented Trail of Tears to the NFL’s most meaningless claim…. The Hyper Bowl!

The two time and current Hyper Bowl MVP, Robert “Wounded Knee” Griffin is the self-anointed, self-promoting and self-centered leader of this years war party of braves. You best smokum’ peace pipe with favorite son Wounded Knee Griffin or incur the revengeful wrath of Chief Speaking Bull Snyder.

Carefully examine your Hyper Bowl Ticket’s to avoid forgeries, look for a hologram that is a dollar sign, encircled by the Redskin’s Mantra,

“In Wampum We Trust.”