Marcus from College Park
*FAN SUBMISSION by our good friend, Marcus from College Park. Follow him on Twitter @MarcusSports1.*
In another hilarious development out of Ashburn, the Spector of Albert Haynesworth haunted the halls of Dan Snyder’s and Mike Shanahan’s office’s once again, on Halloween. In an ironic twist, in a fight that was initiated by former DC tight end, Chris Cooley, Albert Haynesworth got the best of Shanahan personally and the organization as a whole as well, yet again. Haynesworth is a spirit presence akin to a Charles Dickens character, Jacob Marley, in “A Christmas Carol” roaming the halls of Ashburn moaning and rattling his chains at all hours, driving Snyder and Shanahan to random, intense, blood curdling screams.
Lest we forget, the acquisition of Haynesworth was strictly and singularly, a Dan Snyder screw up. Desperate to generate interest in the club after Jim Zorn’s first season as Head Coach, Snyder compulsively pursued Haynesworth and gave the lumbering lineman a contract of 100 million smackers, 41 million of it guaranteed! Buried deep in the history of this fiasco is the fact that Washington was investigated for tampering with Haynesworth before the free agent signing period but Washington was cleared of Tennessee’s claim. Imagine the shape of the franchise if Washington had lost in the tampering investigation and never acquired Big Al in the first place. If Snyder didn’t have bad luck, he wouldn’t have any luck at all.
Shanahan is named Head Coach of the club after Haynesworth’s first season and is immediately given the job of handling the disgruntled defensive lineman who wasn’t happy playing nose guard when his natural position was tackle. So how does Shanahan handle Haynesworth? It’s not so much handling but handing Albert a check for 21 million bucks on April 1st (Happy April Fools Day!) just 85 days after Shanahan’s hiring as Head Coach, bringing Haynesworth’s paid salary for 13 months of lousy football play in DC to a staggering 32 million dollars. Shanahan was humiliated in his first meeting with Haynesworth and Albert was left to laugh all the way to the bank.
Albert: 1 / Mike: 0
The two were to quickly meet again, after Haynesworth skipped mini-camp, causing the Coach to go ballistic. Albert showed up at the start of training camp and was subsequently and literally run off the team by a series of contrived Shanahan fitness tests that removed any hope of an effective or tradable Haynesworth for the 2010 season. Nice going Mike, you sure made the best of that 32 million, huh? Albert was outcast and left to count the days and dollars before being released or traded by Shanahan.
Albert: 2 / Shanahan: 0
After the NFL lockout, Shanahan and Snyder shocked Pro Football by trading for RG3 and paying a King’s Ransom in the process but something was “Rotten in Ashburn”. Snyder, Shanahan and Allen, reminiscent of the Three Stooges in “A Plumbing We Will Go”, clumsily manipulated the contracts of DeAngelo Hall and guess who? Albert Haynesworth. As a result, Washington was fined 36 million in salary cap monies, leaving the future of the franchise RG3, to be clobbered and crumbled, due in part to inferior protection and lack of depth along the offensive line. Albert strikes again!
Albert: 3 / Mike: 0
To the present day Halloween Debacle…..
Three Stooges
For reasons only known to Chris Cooley, Cooley launches into Albert Haynesworth calling the former teammate an “Awful Human Being”. Haynesworth didn’t take the insult laying down, like he did so often while “playing” on the gridiron. He responded with a cooly collected, parodied response directed at Cooley and Shanahan that had the Coach more red faced than usual. Most infuriating to Mike “The Red Lobster” Shanahan was Haynesworth’s criticisms of the handling of RG3 and as Haynesworth referred to as the “conniving ways” of Shanahan. Albert Haynesworth had cast the bait and Shanahan took it hook, line and sinker. Imagine this vision, a tranquil lake, Big Ol’ Albert, casting with a bamboo pole, a string attached to the pole and a gently arching bobber with a big fat night crawler on the hook falling toward the smooth, still lake and before it hits the water, Mike Shanahan explodes from beneath the water and chomps down on the worm like a starving, crazed piranha. See that image and you realize how comical but unsettling the deportment of the Coach has been. Albert went a fishin’ and he hooked him a whopper! Shanahan and the organization took the bait but would have been so much better served if the Coach had only dismissed Haynesworth’s comment’s with a simple response of “Consider the Source, next question”, instead he lost his composure, admitting he’d be honest with reporters for a change (that was weird ) and then launching into a tirade calling Albert, lazy with a lack of passion and character. Why sugar coat it Mike? Tell us how you really feel. By the way Coach, when did you figure all that out about Haynesworth? Before or after you handed him the check for 21 million? Ha!
Point is, what the hell is a coach, who’s 2-5 and sinking fast, worrying and wasting time talking about a player, no longer with the team, that he despised? It’s that very lack of self discipline and focus displayed by Shanahan now and Dan Snyder’s constant meddling, by signing Haynesworth in the first place, that distracts, adds to the chaos and divides this team constantly.
Albert: 4 / Mike: 0
So there you have it, Albert Haynesworth still using his enormous weight to push the head of Washington’s Football Franchise underwater and the waves of disappointment, year after suffocating year, to the bottom of the NFC East.
Hey Shanahan, next time that you’re haunted by the ghost of Albert Haynesworth, start an exorcism, quick! You’ve been shutout for four quarters and gotten your ass kicked by him for years.
Marcus from College Park.
November 1, 2013
