Continued:
Part 1: https://www.thesportscol.com/2013/03/the-mascot-ncaa-bracket/
Part 2: https://www.thesportscol.com/2013/03/the-mascot-ncaa-bracket-part-2/
Fourth Round (Sweet Sixteen)
Midwest Region
(9) Missouri Tigers vs. (13) New Mexico St. Aggies- I’m officially renaming the Aggies “The Fighting Clint Eastwoods”. I’m fairly confident in Clint’s ability to take out a group of tigers with his .44 Magnum. After all, there’s 6 shots in there and a the Tigers can only start 5. Cinderella keeps dancing!
(3) Michigan St. Spartans vs. (15) Albany Great Danes- The stately K-9 has met his match here in the Sweet Sixteen against King Leonidas. It was a good run Albany, but it’s time to let the big boys fight it out.
West Region
(8) Pittsburgh Panthers vs. (12) Ole Miss Rebels- Another classic battle for animal supremacy. In this case, the rebel bear is foiled by the fact that MIADA only takes into account what would happen if these two met in a dark alley. The panther is practically invisible to the bear and therefore quickly gains the upper hand and eventually, the victory. Pitt rolls into the Elite Eight.
(3) New Mexico Lobos vs. (10) Iowa St. Cyclones- The wolves of New Mexico were my “first glance” pick as the team to beat in the West. They just seemed like such survivalists, capable of grinding out victory after victory. But I never truly considered the impact of weather on every living thing on this planet. The cyclones are simply untouchable right now and cruise into the Elite Eight.
South Region
(1) Kansas Jayhawks vs. (4) Michigan Wolverines- The last #1 seed falls in this matchup as the ferocity of the wolverine is simply too much for our feathery friend to handle. Meanwhile in Chapel Hill, coach Williams of North Carolina laments over how sabotaging his own team was all for naught.
(14) Northwestern State Demons vs. (7) San Diego St. Aztecs- You can never count out those ancient Aztecs. Their warrior mentality and strong religious beliefs were enough to release the Demon’s grip on my mind and so I’m quickly putting them through before my soul is once again taken captive. Ugh…I feel like a need a good cleansing.
East Region
(8) NC State Wolfpack vs. (13) Montana Grizzlies- As the final pack of wolves left in this tournament, NC State should be commended. Unfortunately, not even Zack Galifianakis could help them get past the Grizzlies. Montana seems poised for a Final Four appearance…but wait, why is the sky getting so dark…
(11) Bucknell Bison vs. (2) Miami Hurricanes- First a herd of Buffalo…now Bison. It’s almost too easy for Miami at this point. They found the blueprint for beating these hairy beasts in the last round and now they move on comfortably to the Elite Eight.
Fifth Round (Elite Eight)
Midwest Region
(13) New Mexico St. Aggies vs. (3) Michigan St. Spartans- With a trip to the Final Four on the line, if you’re a fan of either of these teams you have to feel good going to battle with Dirty Harry or King Leo. This seems like a logical decision. It’s new school vs. old school. It’s bringing a knife to a gun fight. This has New Mexico St. written all over it. But if there is any person in the history of the world, real or fictional, that could take 6 shots from a .44 and keep going, I strongly believe it’s Leonidas. And as Clint turns to reload, the Spartan King lands the blow that moves Michigan St. into the Final Four!
West Region
(8) Pittsburgh Panthers vs. (10) Iowa St. Cyclones- The Panthers have survived this far in the tournament thanks not only to their tenacity and ability to chase down their prey, but also their cloak and dagger approach. The setting for these one on one matchups has benefited Pittsburgh to the point of practically calling them home games. Unfortunately, their luck runs out just one win shy of the Final Four. They were simply no match for the cyclones, as has been the case in each matchup to date for Iowa St. They move on the Final Four with their sights set on the championship game.
South Region
(4) Michigan Wolverines vs. (7) San Diego St. Aztecs- The Aztecs, mentally and physically drained by their victory over the Demons in the last round, come out flat in this one and from the start it was clear that the wolverines had their number. The only member of the weasel family represented in this tournament finds itself just one win away from a Championship game appearance and the much needed respect that the weasel community deserves.
East Region
(13) Montana Grizzlies vs. (2) Miami Hurricanes- What a battle royale! On one side, we have one of the most dangerous beasts in the animal kingdom and on the other side, a freakin’ hurricane! Had the Grizzlies found themselves matched up against just about any other foe, they would have had a cake walk to the Final Four, but not even a massive creature of their stature could stand up to a force of nature that can literally destroy cities. If only Montana’s mascot were Godzilla!
Final Four
(3) Michigan St. Spartans vs. (10) Iowa St. Cyclones- From the word “go” it was clear which two teams would meet to decide the National Championship. We started with birds, dogs, wolves, bears, cowboys, hilltoppers, and even wheat. But we all knew how it was going to end…with nature vs. nature. But in what could be the biggest upset in the history of the universe, King Leonidas and the Spartans just kicked the crap out of a cyclone! There is but one word to describe this shocking turn of events…SPARTA!!!
(4) Michigan Wolverines vs. (2) Miami Hurricanes- The stage was set for the weasels to upend the overwhelming favorite after the Spartans did what no one thought was possible. Alas, the Wolverines fell in historic fashion as the little guys were literally swept away before any of us knew what had happened.
Championship Game
(3) Michigan St. Spartans vs. (2) Miami Hurricanes- What can you say about these two teams? One ran the table relatively unscathed as we all assumed they would, while the other battled one heavyweight after another, taking out William Wallace and Clint Eastwood along the way. Both are deserving of the chance to be named Champions, but only one can take the crown. This year’s National Champion is…the Miami Hurricanes! After leaving it all on the floor vs. a cyclone one round earlier, Leonidas and his Spartans simply ran out of gas against a bigger, stronger version of the previous round’s foe.
So there you have it folks, MIADA has deemed the Miami Hurricanes the 2013 National Champions. Perhaps this will lead some schools to reconsider their nicknames and mascots next year. I’m looking at you Wichita State!
