Continued: Part 1 at https://www.thesportscol.com/2013/03/the-mascot-ncaa-bracket/.
Third Round (Round of 32)
Midwest Region
(16) North Carolina A&T Aggies vs. (9) Missouri Tigers- The referee-chewing bulldog had a good run, knocking off a #1 seed in the previous round, but this Cinderella story comes to and end vs. the Tigers here in the 3rd Round.
(5) Oklahoma St. Cowboys vs. (13) New Mexico St. Aggies- This is what the tournament’s all about; two teams with similar styles and talent fighting to advance. In this case, we have the Cowboys vs. the Clint Eastwoods. How can you possibly take the generic cowboy, when Mr. Eastwood is standing right next to him? New Mexico St. keeps the dream alive.
(11) St. Mary’s Gaels vs. (3) Michigan State Spartans- This tournament just keeps getting better and better. William Wallace vs. King Leonidas. It’s Ali vs. Frazier, except with really, really big swords! The MIADA nearly self-destructed when I put this matchup in, but when I changed it to Mel Gibson vs. Gerard Butler, it quickly put the Spartans through to the Sweet 16. Better luck next time Mel!
(10) Cincinnati Bearcats vs. (15) Albany Great Danes- I was prepared to put the Bearcats through based solely on their name. I mean a bearcat seems pretty badass, am I right? But they’re actually rather small and not nearly as dangerous as I first believed. Add that to the fact that Great Danes were originally bred to hunt deer and wild boar and you’ve got the recipe for another Albany victory.
West Region
(16) Southern Jaguars vs. (8) Pittsburgh Panthers- Did you know that Jaguars can actually be considered a type of Panther but Panthers are not Jaguars? Mind=Blown. Based on this logic, I’m putting the Panthers through to the next round. Thank you Animal Planet!
(12) Ole Miss Rebels vs. (13) Boise St. Broncos- While a wild Bronco can absolutely do some damage, the fact that Boise State’s mascot is named Buster doesn’t exactly scream wild beast. The Rebel Bear advances.
(11) Belmont Bruins vs. (3) New Mexico Lobos- This is the second straight matchup for the Bears against a smaller but quicker foe. Their size and strength carried them past the Wildcats in the previous round, but the speed and agility of the wolves brings an end to Belmont’s run. Lobos move on.
(10) Iowa St. Cyclones vs. (2) Ohio St. Buckeyes- Poor Brutus didn’t stand a chance in this one. His giant head caught the wind like a sail and no one has seen him since. Iowa St. marches on to the Sweet Sixteen.
South Region
(1) Kansas Jayhawks vs. (8) North Carolina Tar Heels- In a strange turn of events, the Tar Heels head coach (formerly the head coach at Kansas) sabotaged his own mascot by tying his horns to a dumpster in the dark alley. Poor Rameses was defenseless against the Jayhawk and Kansas moves on.
(5) VCU Rams vs. (4) Michigan Wolverines- I just can’t see how the ram can hang with one of the X-Men. I mean he’s got those huge metal claws and a killer beard! Michigan advances.
(6) UCLA Bruins vs. (14) Northwestern State Demons- I want to pick the Bruins. I should pick the Bruins. But this demon is staring directly into my soul.
(7) San Diego St. Aztecs vs. (15) Florida Gulf Coast Eagles- Those Aztecs are a hell of a shot with a bow and arrow, just saying. San Deigo St. moves on.
East Region
(16) LIU Brooklyn Blackbirds vs. (8) NC State Wolfpack- “So there…there were two of us in the Wolfpack. I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later…I thought ‘Wait a second, could it be?’ And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolfpack.” That’s right- Alan, Doug, Stu, and Phil defeat the Blackbirds of LIU to advance to the Sweet Sixteen.
(12) California Golden Bears vs. (13) Montana Grizzlies- In a battle of bears, I’m taking the Grizzly…simple as that.
(11) Bucknell Bison vs. (14) Davidson Wildcats- I’m sure they’re quick, agile, and dangerous…but do you really expect a group of big cats to take down a herd of freakin’ bison?! Didn’t think so. Bucknell moves on.
(10) Colorado Buffaloes vs. (2) Miami Hurricanes- Buffalo are pretty heavy mothers so I think it’ll take more than your everyday CAT 1 hurricane to move em. But judging by the #2 seeding, Miami isn’t some little rainstorm. Miami advances easily into the next round.
