Happy New Year, everyone!
I hope your holiday season has been joyful and restful so far. Hopefully your favorite football team is in the playoffs or has still yet to play their bowl game.
I’m not sure what 2013 will bring in the world of sports, but in the vein of making resolutions, here are some I’d make if I were a certain player, coach or fan base:
Woody Johnson: I will get rid of Sanchez and Tebow and deal with any salary cap hits. The season I just witnessed was repulsive.
Gary Bettman: I will learn from the NFL and the NBA and make a deal ASAP with the players. The NHL was already the least popular ‘major sport’ in America and this lockout is obviously making the hole deeper.
Joe Flacco: I will continue to shake my head and chuckle at people who think I’m not good
Mitch Kupchak: I will try not to smile too much when people ask me about the Andrew Bynum trade. Getting rid of him before he got hurt again was a stroke of genius.
Mike Mayock: I will cease to tell everyone how much tape I’ve watched and stop saying the phrase “one of the best.”
Andy Reid: I will enjoy the time off knowing I gave everything I had to that team.
Jay Cutler: I will not push any more offensive lineman, despite the lack of protection I get.
Dodgers ownership: We will stop spending money when…who are we kidding? Who else can we get?
LeBron James: I will now show people my ring finger when they talk trash to me.
Peter Angelos: I will spend money on a big free agent who will help the Orioles get back to the playoffs.
Courtesy: USA Today
Jacoby Jones: I will keep showing the fans the best touchdown dances in the league, even if the referees somehow think I didn’t score.
Ndamukong Suh: I won’t stomp on anybody. I’m a good enough player to manhandle others legally.
Kobe Bryant: I will keep scoring and making unbelievable, highly contested shots, because that’s what I do.
Chiefs front office: We will draft Geno Smith to be our next quarterback. Five Pro Bowlers and a defense that frequently kept us in games tell us the QB position is what’s holding us back.
Drew Brees: I won’t allow anyone on the field for the Saints if they aren’t 100% on board with working hard and treating people well every day. This town has suffered enough. We need to make 2013 our year.
Ed Reed: I won’t attempt to tackle anymore, because it seems I get fined every time I make a big hit.
Of course, these are meant for fun and are not meant to offend anyone.
Once again, be safe and enjoy New Year’s Day! All the best to you and yours in 2013!
