As the holidays fade and the local gyms pack themselves full of folks who want to get in shape…for 3 weeks, I thought it would be a good time to put myself in the shoes of some of our favorite (and least favorite) sports figures and make some resolutions. We all want to better ourselves in the new year, and the same goes for many of these folks…so let’s see what they want for themselves in 2013. Happy Holidays!
Norv Turner: I will take an Offensive Coordinator position for a team with an already sound offense to ensure that I continue to pull the wool over the nation’s eyes by being viewed as a great OC.
Tiger Woods: I will go back to my womanizing ways since it’s the only way I’m ever going to beat Jack’s record.
Tim Tebow: I will move to Canada and join a CFL franchise. At least those guys will let me start, right? Eh?
John Harbaugh: I’ll let Bryant McKinnie out of the doghouse and actually play him on the O-line.
Joe Flacco: I will remember that the internal clock in my head is for telling me when it’s time to throw the ball away.
Courtesy: USA Today
Dwight Howard: I will buy an RV since I’m sure I’ll be playing for several more franchises over the course of the next year or two.
NHL Fans: I will start following the underground curling circuit. After all, that’s the only action I’ll be seeing on the ice anytime soon.
RGIII: I will perfect walking on water, after I cure the world of cancer and unite the Israelis and Palestinians.
Dez Bryant: I will not do stupid things off the field during this offseason. Ok, I will not do 5 stupid things this offseason. 10?
Dan Duquette: I will spend SOME money on a free agent or two before the fan base storms my home with torches and pitchforks.
Rex Ryan: I will make another strange fetish video to distract everyone from the fact that I just finished up my worst coaching season to date.
Greg Jennings: I will not make so many Old Spice commercials this offseason, and instead focus on actually getting in shape for next year.
Happy New Year.
