Get Over it Boston, You’re Upset

*The Sports Column’s, Marcus from College Park, picks his winner for the AFC Championship game.*

Marcus from College Park

According to the pinhead prognosticating pundits and pro football fans across the Country, there’s a million and one reasons that they’re picking the New England Patriots to throttle the Baltimore Ravens in Foxboro Sunday Night. After all, the Patriots have been to five Superbowl’s since 2001. Let’s face it, one has to acknowledge that it was extremely difficult to whup up on the Patriots when they were skulking around filming other teams practice’s and stealing opponents signal’s during games. The cheating scandals culminated in 2007 when the NFL fined cheating chief videophile and Pat’s Head Coach, Bill Belichick, 500 grand and stripped the franchise of its first round draft pick in 2008. It burns the butts of Beantown fans everywhere to stomach the annoying little fact that the Patriots haven’t won the “Big One,” since Commissioner Robert Goodell stuck a finger in Belichick’s all seeing, all stealing eye. The Hooded Genius’ austere appearance reminds most of a poor mans Jedi Knight, who if he was spotted in the stadium parking lot pushing a shopping cart full of green trash bags stuffed with possessions, he’d be remanded to the nearest homeless shelter (apologies to all you well intending homeless activists).

How about that GQ of a QB, Patriot Tom Brady?; it all came so easy to “Tom Terrific”. Whether it was collecting Supermodel girlfriends or Superbowl trophies, Brady’s life reads like a lousy, trumped up, romance novel. The pulp fiction came to a climax when while expecting a child with Supermodel #1 Bridget Moynahan, Tom began dating Brazilian Supermodel #2, Gisele Bundchen. Wow, this is a quarterback, who can score from anywhere, on or off the field!

Alas though, the fairy tale came crashing down on February 3, 2008 in Glendale, Arizona when without advanced illegal video surveillance, the New York Football Giants soundly defeated an 18-0 Patriot team, that was so heavily favored, that fans outside of New York believed that playing the game was a coronation of Tom Brady, rather than a contest. Interesting aside here, the words “Football Giants” was used to avoid confusion in New York when Baseball’s San Francisco’s Giants played in New York at the Polo Grounds in Manhattan back in the day.  Fast forward to February 3, 2012 in Indianapolis, Indiana where given the chance to exact sweet revenge against the Giants, Belichick and Brady were left hanging their heads, beaten again and twice in a row by the underdog Giants, led by Louisiana bumpkin, Eli Manning. That really hurt didn’t it ye sophisticates of ta ta Boston Society?

Enter stage right, the Baltimore Ravens in 2013. Baltimore brings many of the on field qualities that allowed New York to squash favored Patriot teams on the big stage. Just as the Giants relied on certain Hall of Fame defensive end and spark plug Michael Strahan, Baltimore brings spiritual leader, two time NFL defensive player of the year and 13 time All-Pro, Ray Lewis. Add sack masters, Krueger, Ellerbe, Ngata and Suggs and you have a recipe that’s likely to muss up Hollywood Heartthrob, Tom Brady’s hair. Cornerstone to New York’s strategy to victory against the Pats was destabilizing Tom Brady in the pocket; the Ravens’ rush is more than capable of tearing holes in any teams protection. Perhaps if the statuesque, 5′-11″ Bundchen was in the backfield protecting her hubby from the onslaught, Brady might have more time to throw. Who can forget Ms. Bundchen Brady’s spirited, profanity laced, defense of her man after the Superbowl last year. Golly, she’s so mean and manly!

Courtesy: Getty Images

On offense, Baltimore’s Joe “Cool” Flacco isn’t glamorous or charismatic. All he does is win. In five years Flacco has 56 regular season wins and 7 playoff victories in 11 starts. Flacco reasonably reminds football fans of,  “Aw Shucks”, Patriot Slayer, Eli Manning. Since the Ravens canned offensive play caller Cam Cameron, Ray Rice has regained his All Pro running back form. Torrey Smith supplies the big play bomb threat, while the kicking game woes of last year have been solved by the addition of Justin Tucker. This is an offense that can score plenty of points and in a hurry too.

Mike Ditka is fond of saying that he’d take a team of no name “Grabowskis” into any big football game with pride. “Iron Mike” would likely have loved taking the Ravens into Sundays AFC Championship matchup against the Patriots. A team of “Regular Joes” facing down the “Chippendale Glory Guys,” what’s not to like? At the end of the day, the Everyman triumphs, Baltimore books a trip to New Orleans and Boston’s left to the beans, passing gas and a stinking losers locker room.